Learning to Forgive Myself
Posted on mars 18, 2008
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Anxiety is often created within us, because of our unwillingness to forgive ourselves. I know there are some things in my life I am unrelentingly critical about. I wish I had treated a friend better. I regret I didn’t get my doctorate degree. I feel guilty I am divorced after 25 years of marriage. I wish I’d called my old friends more. I could give you a long list of things I have trouble forgiving in my life. The problem is this lack of forgiveness is often a source anxiety. I start thinking about all the things I had hoped to accomplish in my life instead of the things I successfully accomplished.
We forgive our friends willingly, but often refuse to give ourselves the same consideration. We soothe our friends feelings so they don’t feel bad yet will beat ourselves up mentally. I have had to learn to forgive myself and be much less critical in order to decrease my anxiety. Thoughts can spiral out of control and the result was panic attacks for me. If you find yourself always feeling guilty about something, and also suffer anxiety or panic attacks, it’s time to learn how to love yourself as much as you love your friends and family.
In Anticipation of Anxiety
Posted on mars 17, 2008
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I have anxiety issues and one of them is my propensity to make things worse in my mind then they really will are or will be. I sometimes have to monitor group work sessions at my place of employment, and inevitably I start imagining the worst. What if I’m not prepared enough? What if they ask me something I should be able to answer? What if I look foolish trying to handle the material? What will they think of me as a professional? My mind starts racing, full of these anxious thoughts, and by meeting time I’m a mental mess.
I decided I needed to put a stop to this anticipation anxiety. Treatments for anxiety are mostly about taking control of your thoughts, so I knew I had the power of control. What I started doing was focusing my mind on something else once I was prepared for the meeting. For example, I would work on another project I was interested in doing or was doing well. This served to bolster my mental confidence and provided a much needed distraction. With practice, I learned how to make myself quit thinking the worst.
Feeling Guilty About Everything
Posted on mars 16, 2008
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It’s so easy to feel guilty about everything when you have low self-esteem. A person with low self-esteem seems to believe they are responsible for everything and nothing he or she does is good enough. These guilty feelings include thinking you don’t spend enough time with the family or you should be making more money. Guilty feelings also rise out of past life regrets such as not having children or failing to obtain a promotion at work. Actually, someone who wants to feel guilty can find something to feel guilty about in just about every area of their life.
Excessive guilt feelings usually are hiding low esteem. You simply don’t believe you’re good enough at anything you do or try. It’s a form of insecurity that can make you anxious, worried and fearful. If you believe in your mind that nothing you do will be adequate, it can eventually lead to depression and immobility. If you experience a lot of guilty feelings, knowing in your heart you’re doing your best, then you should begin a self-esteem building program. You’ll be amazed at how well you actually are handling your life once you get the right perspective.
I “Think” Myself Into An Anxiety Attack
Posted on février 29, 2008
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It seems odd, but you can actually think yourself into an anxiety attack. But if this is true, then you should be able to think yourself out of one. Your thoughts are what control your reactions to situations. You can choose to deal with a situation in a calm and rational manner, or you can let anxiety take hold. Everyone has qualities that make them very special, but anxiety can mask those capabilities. When you’re overcome with fear about something, it leads to inaction.
By learning to change your anxiety plagued thoughts to relaxing thoughts, the panic attacks and physical reactions can actually be controlled. The feeling will be one of release. Anxiety can make you feel as if you’re suffocating and losing control. By having positive thoughts you can control your reactions and begin to live the life you’re entitled to live. You can even learn to do this on your own by mastering the power of positive self-talk.
The Real Issue
Posted on février 29, 2008
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Anxiety is one of those emotions that is really covering up another problem in your life. People who have anxiety often have a lot of scary thoughts that make no sense to them. For example, they may have enormous fears they don’t reveal to anyone else. I knew a man who feared swimming pools. He couldn’t hide his fear because our neighborhood had frequent pool parties. He was so afraid of the pool he’d stay inside the house. Finally, he went to a therapist and it turned out his real anxiety was due to suppressed suffocating feelings related to his family life. It seems odd at first glance, but anxiety often operates like a self-defense mechanism.
If you have an unreasonable fear of something you might want to consider that fear is covering up another problem. The fear works to distract your mind. It’s like displaced anxiety. Most of us can figure out what the real problems are in our lives if we open up our minds to the truth. But you have to make a commitment to deal with the honest truth.
Learning to Take Criticism
Posted on février 3, 2008
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Have you ever met someone you had to walk on eggshells around because they just couldn’t handle feedback about themselves? Some people just seem to be overly sensitive and unable to handle any criticism. I have a girlfriend who has that quality. She gets her feelings hurt so easily and often views simple comments as direct attacks. It’s no coincidence she also has been diagnosed with anxiety.
My friend’s anxiety is the result of this kind of sensitive thinking. Apparently, some people with anxiety are constantly viewing any situation as a personal threat. They start worrying excessively about what other people think and get very defensive. Eventually, you stop talking to people like this because their reactions are too intense. I found myself only talking about simple and non personal subjects such as the weather. If you’re an overly sensitive person who frequently feels hurt, you can learn to take control of your thoughts and put a stop to the anxiety.
Getting a Perspective
Posted on février 3, 2008
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Learning to deal with anxiety means you need to learn to put things into perspective. You’ve probably heard this expression before, and there’s a reason. It’s when things get out of perspective that anxiety can take hold. I actually look at my mind now as if there’s only room for one thing – perspective or anxiety. If you let one overcome the other, you’ll either enjoy life or always be anxious.
Anxiety is one of those emotions that can grow. It not only can grow, you can help it become overpowering. Your thoughts often control your anxiety level. I enjoy the beach, but my anxiety began to ruin the experience. This is what happened. I would enjoy swimming in the ocean. Then I started thinking about sharks and drowning. This was followed by panic about what I might step on in the water. Eventually it got to the point where I sat on the beach and watched everyone else cool off in the warm ocean waters. That’s just one example of how you can let anxiety rule your life.
High Anxiety Holidays
Posted on février 1, 2008
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The holidays are such a beautiful time of year, but they sure can be a time of high anxiety too. I always wanted it all to be perfect, so I did everything myself. I took care of the shopping, mailing presents, cooking, writing cards, cleaning the house and party planning. I did it all while working full time too. What happened was each holiday became more stressful each year, until one December I discovered I was miserable. My perfect holiday was making me miserable.
I realized I had an anxiety problem when I was at the mall racing around and suddenly lost my ability to concentrate. I had no idea what I needed to do next. There were other signs in my life throughout the year, but this was an epiphany for me. I had to sit on a bench in the middle of the mall with all my packages and try to get reoriented. I was sweating and panting and trying to get a grip. Yes, I was having a holiday panic attack. So if you feel this level of anxiety during the holidays, you too probably need to deal with your propensity to try and “do it all”.
I’m a Perfectionist
Posted on février 1, 2008
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Okay, I admit I’m a perfectionist, but not in the way you might think. I like everything in order in my life, but I also discovered I try too hard to please everyone else. The result was I pleased no one including myself. In fact, the harder I tried to please my husband, my kids, my mother, my friends and my co-workers, the more anxious I became. It got to the point where I started to simply withdraw. That seemed easier to do than trying to keep everyone happy.
If this describes you too, then you probably are on the path to ongoing anxiety. Withdrawing from your family or social life is never a good solution. I wanted everyone to be happy around me, and it really became an issue of control. As a perfectionist, I thought I could make everyone happy. The bottom line is happiness comes from the inside, and you and I can’t force people to be contented. If you feel anxiety all the time, because you can’t seem to do enough right, then you should take advantage of the many self-help programs available. You’ll learn to let go and begin enjoying life again.
Anxiety and Self Control
Posted on janvier 31, 2008
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I have panic attacks, and they’re no fun at all. I feel them coming on and the more I think about it, the quicker it happens. The first attacks I had, I really thought I was having a heart attack. My heart was pounding and I started sweating profusely. Then I couldn’t concentrate on anything around me. It scared me very badly. Of course, I started doing a lot of reading about panic attacks and was relieved to discover they aren’t physically harmful to my health. It wasn’t a heart attack making my heart race – it was the chemicals the brain releases when anxiety attacks.
There are ways to deal with panic attacks and general anxiety. The best thing to try first is learning self-control. Yes, you can learn to change the way you think so anxiety is relieved and panic attacks are less likely. Anxiety is a symptom of something else in your life yet to be identified. In my case, I discovered I had suppressed feelings about my marriage and it was causing excessive stress in my life.
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